Thursday, 10 December 2009

Kirsty Allsopp were not stupid !!!!!!


Last night saw the second episode of Kirsty's homemade christmas!....(for all my American readers, shes a UK Martha Stewart wannabe, without the criminal record!)  What Miss Hunter Wellington Boot wearer failed to realise is that we're not stupid!...."Oh this year I'm avoiding the high street and plumping for a home made cheap christmas" she bleated through her post box red lips!....Cheap christmas my arse! after watching the two shows Happy and I estimate she's spent about £1000 on her home made bits and bobs at least!!!!

First there was hand blown balls at £10 each, she had 7!


Then a small road trip from Devon to Lewes, a few hundred miles, at least £100 in diesel, to buy a few vintage treasures! well thats what she called them, a glass bowl for £25, that would last all year she exclaimed! etc etc...


Then we have to witness Kirsty,  in the smallest wrap dress that Hobbs has ever made, cut down half of the Devon forest so as Gemima and Netty, both wearing cashmere, can drag twigs and forestation into the house so Miss K can exclaim " Oh this is the most Christmassy bannister I've ever seen "

Then its off to cut down the tree!.....we then witness wreath making, although despite good instruction, Kirsty seems not to make a traditional wreath shape but more of a gurning ring, that would look not out of place on a horse! complete with pikey gold bow! LOL!


Next Kirsty fires up the quattro and heads off to London again for more tat, "oh my sister will love this 1970s cook book, its got a recipe for brown bread ice cream"!!!!!....Is this woman really on planet earth! what her sister really wants is a Fortnum and Mason's hamper, with quail eggs and salmon, not some old piece of tat that cost £1 and will be on the wood burner before boxing day!

A handmade teddy is next, only £75 a metre! not including the watercolor artist who also arrives to draw the bears creation, by now its getting farsical, not to mention the hand made soaps and ribbons from V V Rouleaux of Sloane Square, where the parking meter costs £1 per 5 minutes!

Then there was homemade stockings, homemade chutney and other festive goodies.
However if you have missed it,  all is not lost! tonight, yes tonight, night three of the festival of Allsopp were doing chocolate truffles and party nibbles. I don't think 'Iceland' will have to worry although I feel Kirsty could give Miss Cattona a run for her money.  Still one does have to admire the concept, we too this year are trying to focus on the event rather than the consumerism, and our handmade efforts are rewarding, the programme had good intention, but patronising execution, next year channel 4, pop around to Happy's house and were show you how its done!
 
 Bye for now just off to the pound shop to get our turkey, I do hope there's some left, if not I think I will try their pheasant, such good value at £1,  I thought I would also get an Iceland £3, 101 piece party platter, incase we have any unexpected guests. I would have normally gone to Aldi but my cheque from CASH FOR GOLD seems to have got lost in the post!


Happy Holidays to you all!


fred x

16 comments:

Florence and Mary said...

I don't know if you watched again this evening but if you did I daren't ask what you thought of the gold leaf pears!

Victoria

VintageVicki said...

LOL - I love your take on those programmes.

I guess she's meant to inspire people to make their own versions of her goodies.

Lalabibaby said...

Glad I'm not on my own and you echo my sentiments about this lot of sickly sweet drivel .... just a showcase for KA and her posh mates ... hate to think how big her carbon footprint is!!

Menopausal musing said...

I roared with laughter reading this...... I sat and watched it and expressed very similar sentiments rather loudly and vehemently. The saving grace (in my eyes) was getting a look at those stunningly beautiful wallpaper rollers........

Amy. said...

Fred, I love love love reading your posts!!!
I enjoy wrapping our gifts in newspaper, and even birthday gifts are wrapped in Sunday newspaper comics pages also. I enjoy your red and white twine. I must get some....and soon!
Amy

LittleGem said...

Another one who completely agrees with you, ridiculously over the top and patronising, and those gold leaf pears took the biscuit!!

jane and the happy crow said...

Ha, Ha! It was a laugh watching good old Kirstie and did you note how many times she slipped 'Meadowgate' in, all good advertising for her rentable holiday cottage, 11 times in part one and I think about 12 in the second. Unfortunately I missed part three as we were out doing something Christmassy and I wanted to tape The Restaurant, are you still watching it? Cant believe those two hair twiddling blondes have made it to the final!!!! Are they gay or what! Hope to see some of your comments on that. Always a good laugh reading your blog. Jane x

Gena said...

Hello Fred! I have hopped over from Happys blog,nice place you have here! and yes,I so agree about Kirsty and those gold leaf pears really did take the biscuit!and frankly she ought to be ashamed that she needed an expert to show her how to cook sprouts!

Happy @/*-*\@ said...

He he he! Freddy you are always making me laugh and I love this! we definately would of given old Kirsty a run for her money!

What makes me laugh is that she was supposed to be making everything with her children and the woman must have a brood tucked away somewhere...coz she is always pregnant! but where were they? no! the poor little kiddies must have been hidden in a cupboard somewhere...as they were never allowed to help! poor darlings...kids love helping don't they!

Love ya, as always - Happy xx

charl said...

hahaha im laughing out loud reading your post.. honestly i had to turn the Allsop off in the end it was bugging me that much.. i just dont know what world she is living in but it defo not the one the rest of us are..!!!!..
its always nice to realise im not alone in my thinking!!..

Grace said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lisa D said...

The programme was basically a opportunity to advertise her holiday home, and darlings we can stay there for a mere £3,000 per week!

Personally I think Kirstie has very little talent, particularly in the decorate your home for christmas on the cheap department.

tracey @ the vintage bothy said...

Hi There
I have just found you and whole heartedly agree with your Kirsty comments.
Though Kirsty has a likeable persona and does promote to the yummy mummys, that want the CK look but don't know how to do it, and that helps the poor people like me that know how to supply it to them enabling me to scrape a living doing what I love.... if there is another tv producer out there that is looking for a real person that wasn't born with a silver spoon........
I am adding you to my blog list directly.
Tracey

beccasauras said...

Wow, I found you again! Sounds crazy, but I read your blog for ages, and it inspired me to strat one. Then you stopped, I was upset- just goolged you and there you were. I wonder what happened with the quilt you were making with pieces from around the world? You're ace, Fred!
PS I'm not a nutter, just exuburent.

magpie chic said...

I saw that too in New Zealand just before christmas. I have to secretly admit to loving her and her wellies, even if she is in Lala land! Haven't laughed so much in ages reading your blog about her, you captured the irony perfectly. But that house was so cool! I don't believe Kirsty's really that dumb. Nobody could be.

Valerie said...

I know this is a really old post, but I came across it and have to comment - it made me laugh so much!! I loved Kirstie's Homemade Christmas show. It was daft and unintentionally funny and brilliant when she bought bits & pieces from markets for 'bargain' prices the rest of us wouldn't dream of paying for old tat.
However, I think you have to give her some credit - she was championing the idea of buying local (and not just the local Ikea!). So she'd used the local blacksmith, glass maker, mad knitting lady, etc.
However flawed and Aga-loving middle class the programme was, at least it was more creative than a lot of shows. Hope you're still blogging out there somewhere, meanwhile I'm catching up on some of the old stuff. :-) Best wishes Valerie