Last night saw the second episode of Kirsty's homemade christmas!....(for all my American readers, shes a UK Martha Stewart wannabe, without the criminal record!) What Miss Hunter Wellington Boot wearer failed to realise is that we're not stupid!...."Oh this year I'm avoiding the high street and plumping for a home made cheap christmas" she bleated through her post box red lips!....Cheap christmas my arse! after watching the two shows Happy and I estimate she's spent about £1000 on her home made bits and bobs at least!!!!
First there was hand blown balls at £10 each, she had 7!
Then a small road trip from Devon to Lewes, a few hundred miles, at least £100 in diesel, to buy a few vintage treasures! well thats what she called them, a glass bowl for £25, that would last all year she exclaimed! etc etc...
Then we have to witness Kirsty, in the smallest wrap dress that Hobbs has ever made, cut down half of the Devon forest so as Gemima and Netty, both wearing cashmere, can drag twigs and forestation into the house so Miss K can exclaim " Oh this is the most Christmassy bannister I've ever seen "
Then its off to cut down the tree!.....we then witness wreath making, although despite good instruction, Kirsty seems not to make a traditional wreath shape but more of a gurning ring, that would look not out of place on a horse! complete with pikey gold bow! LOL!
Next Kirsty fires up the quattro and heads off to London again for more tat, "oh my sister will love this 1970s cook book, its got a recipe for brown bread ice cream"!!!!!....Is this woman really on planet earth! what her sister really wants is a Fortnum and Mason's hamper, with quail eggs and salmon, not some old piece of tat that cost £1 and will be on the wood burner before boxing day!
A handmade teddy is next, only £75 a metre! not including the watercolor artist who also arrives to draw the bears creation, by now its getting farsical, not to mention the hand made soaps and ribbons from V V Rouleaux of Sloane Square, where the parking meter costs £1 per 5 minutes!
Then there was homemade stockings, homemade chutney and other festive goodies.
However if you have missed it, all is not lost! tonight, yes tonight, night three of the festival of Allsopp were doing chocolate truffles and party nibbles. I don't think 'Iceland' will have to worry although I feel Kirsty could give Miss Cattona a run for her money. Still one does have to admire the concept, we too this year are trying to focus on the event rather than the consumerism, and our handmade efforts are rewarding, the programme had good intention, but patronising execution, next year channel 4, pop around to Happy's house and were show you how its done!
Bye for now just off to the pound shop to get our turkey, I do hope there's some left, if not I think I will try their pheasant, such good value at £1, I thought I would also get an Iceland £3, 101 piece party platter, incase we have any unexpected guests. I would have normally gone to Aldi but my cheque from CASH FOR GOLD seems to have got lost in the post!
Happy Holidays to you all!