final score.....fred 0........ smoke alarm 3

Beep

wait ten mins

beep

wait ten mins

beep wait 2 hours

beep

wait 5 mins

beep

this is how the torture began.

the upstairs landing smoke alarm outside our bedroom has a depleated battery,

well not completely dead as the bloody thing beeps like a budgie on crack.

At first we ignored it and then emergency chair was brought forth and we sprang into action,

i held her legs as i cant climb,

she couldnt twist cover off alarm,

emergency kitchen knife was summoned,

place into side of alarm,

cracked alarm case, still cover wont move!!

emergency spatula summoned and inserted in between ceiling and alarm,

whole alarm now off , hanging by wire,

artex everwhere,

beep its goes, 

dog barks at beep, dog kicked up the arse!

beep goes alarm.

Blood pressure now rising, wine needed,

cant get wine as chair is blocking landing.

Take alarm in hand and hit with heel of stiletto shoe,

heel falls off shoe and alarm beeps!

manage too wedge side open to see battery,

smash on wall to free battery.

feeling smug as battery is now removed.

All back to bed.

3am alarm beeps

dog barks from bathroom and flings himself at door to protect us,

i pull alarm completely away from ceiling and throw into garden from first floor window,

will call electrician later today, need sleep!

This really happened last night, thats why we look like this today.......